Wednesday 7 February 2018

Mandatory waste of time

DZ has just lost several hours of his life engaged in "Mandatory Training", the annual foray into areas of knowledge utterly irrelevant and pointless to his actual job. Conducted on line, he is supposed to read a number of documents and then answer questions on the contents rather like the comprehension exercises he did at school when he was six.

The questions fall into a number of categories;
1. The stupidly obvious. for example, choose one of the two following answers about the cause of dementia. 1.Some brain cells become damaged, or 2. as a result of limb amputation. Even the demented would get that right just by counting their limbs.
2. Clinical questions so simple that a foetus with medical ambitions would get right. e.g. Platelets are involved in blood clotting, true or false. Strewth!
3. Questions where the options don't include the correct answer. Such as the one asking what appraisal is. The options strangely don't include "An utter bag of shit tied up with string".
4. But perhaps the commonest questions are those which all have the same answer, like these;
   How many stages are there between taking a blood sample, and transfusion?
   What year was The Patient's association set up?
   How many "C"s are there in "Compassion in practice"
   What does the Royal College of Nursing think about (anything)?
   Anything at all about food handling.
   What year was .................................?
   How many reasons are there for "challenging behaviour"

So what is the common answer to so many questions in such diverse areas?

          "WHO GIVES A FUCK? WHY DO I NEED TO KNOW THAT?

So two sessions of clinical work were given up for this crap. Extend that to every medical practitioner in the UK, all 250,000 of them and you get a total of half a million clinical sessions. That's the equivalent of 1623 full time doctors, and a part timer. Toss the whole process in the bin and you overnight effectively gain that many extra doctors at no cost.

Lest it be thought that my ire is because I failed the tests I'd like to point out that I did very well, like every other doctor in the place. But not because we were all diligent and attentive. It's because we all had (unofficial) access to a crib sheet.

Yes, DZ cheated!

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